


Pretend

by SunshineScorpius



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Anxiety, M/M, Panic Attacks, Scorbus, cursed child non-compliant, relationships are hard, scorose not endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 16:58:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17512433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunshineScorpius/pseuds/SunshineScorpius
Summary: Having a best friend as an ex-boyfriend who you were still in love with was hard. But losing Albus altogether was harder. So, Scorpius did what Scorpius did best, faked it 'till he made it.





	Pretend

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something I cooked up for you! Hope you enjoy it! It you like it please check out my other pieces!
> 
> Kudos and comments welcome, I appreciate all the feedback!
> 
> Enjoy!!

_He doesn’t love you, Scorpius._

_You should be happy for him._

_Just smile and pretend._

_Everything will be okay._

_Just smile, no, bigger than that. Smile your biggest smile ever._

_And pretend._

Scorpius Malfoy would repeat that to himself nearly every day. After all, it wasn’t easy being in love with your best friend. Your best friend who also just happens to be your ex-boyfriend. Your best-friend who decided that straight was the way forward. Your best friend that you didn’t want to lose after you broke up, so you planted a big fake fuck-off smile on your face every day just to keep him close. Because being his friend was easier than being nothing at all.

The mantra he repeated never stopped the ever-growing feeling of jealousy that would appear in his stomach whenever Albus’ girlfriend, Polly Chapman, would join them for dinner. Or when she’d join them for a library study session. Or when they went to each other’s common rooms. Or when Albus ditched him to sit on the Gryffindor stands at a Quidditch match. Or any time she was around really, or Albus even mentioned her name.

Scorpius hated Polly Chapman. Polly Chapman hated Scorpius. But their love for Albus had forced them to be civil. She no longer called him Voldemort’s son and he could now muster a half-genuine smile and greeting whenever she joined them. They never spoke when Albus wasn’t around.

He remembered vividly the argument they had when Albus announced he was going on a date with her. He was livid. Anger wasn’t a word that could comprehend his feelings. He never brought up the fact that Albus was gay and was obviously burying those feelings deep down. He never brought up their past relationship – it was short and sweet and nice while it lasted, those were Albus’ words for it anyway. He did, however, bring up how angry he was that he was taking Polly Chapman, their previous school bully, on a date.

That was when Scorpius began his mantra.

_You should be happy for him._

_Just smile and pretend._

So, he did.

He apologised for flipping out and Albus forgave him quickly. They vowed to always be friends and never let girls get in the way.

But girls did get in the way, every single day. Because every single day Polly bloody Chapman would have her tongue down his best friends’ throat and every single day Scorpius had to watch in sheer discomfort. That was why he had to force back the eye roll when he saw her sauntering over to the Slytherin table that morning, Rose Granger-Weasley in tow, and paint on his famous fake smile.

“Hi boys,” she said in a flirtatious manner, though Scorpius knew it was only directed at Albus, who sat across from him on the opposite bench, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face as Polly dropped onto his lap and glued her lips to his. Fighting back the nausea, Scorpius pushed his breakfast away and buried his head in his book, ignoring Rose placing herself next him. She ignored him too, pulling out a book of her own. Things were exactly great between Scorpius and Rose. He asked her out in their fourth year – long before he realised his feelings for Albus, even though they were definitely there. She said yes and the two shared a nice afternoon in Hogsmeade, however when she tried to kiss him, and Scorpius rapidly backed away, she didn’t take it lightly. He tried to explain, that it wasn’t her but that he had some big epiphany, she didn’t care. And he couldn’t fully explain that he had feelings for her cousin. So, they left their relationship at that. They were civil and two years later Rose had mostly got over the burn. They spoke in classes and partnered up for things – they were the smartest in their year, they’d be stupid not to – but for the most part they never had much to say to each other, so they didn’t say anything at all.

After one minute too long of hearing soft giggles and moans and the grunts of kissing – seriously, had they even come up for air? – Scorpius snapped his book closed, the loud noise startling all three of his friends? Acquaintances? Only Albus could really be considered his friend.

“I forgot something in the dorm,” he directed his words at Albus, “I’ll meet you in potions.” He didn’t give Albus a chance to respond more than just a nod before his things were gathered and he was basically running out the hall.

At first it was fine, but the longer Albus and Polly were together, the harder it was for Scorpius to deal with it. It had been six months now and Scorpius would puke if he had to go through it much longer.

No one had known about Scorpius’ and Albus’ short-lived relationship. It happened at the end of their fourth year for two short months, they ended things in a seemingly mutual agreement over the summer. By mutual it meant that Scorpius did his best to fake a smile and hide the pain in his eyes as Albus broke it off, begging for them to still be friends and Scorpius nodding way too quickly, fighting back the tears. They both spent their fifth year single, though Albus tried a few dates and Scorpius did too. Albus dated girls, Scorpius dated both. But no one had quite compared to Albus and Scorpius had always hoped that no one would compare to him for Albus either. Apparently, Polly Chapman did. But even he saw that Albus wasn’t wholly in the relationship. He never looked at her the way he looked at Scorpius.

When they broke up, Albus informed Scorpius that he didn’t think he was gay. That when Scorpius admitted his feelings for him he thought there was something there and wanted to try, but nothing happened, and he broke it off before things got too messy. But, there was something there. Anyone with a brain and a pair of eyes could see. Scorpius decided not to argue and let Albus indulge on his idea that he was straight. Maybe he was bisexual, like Scorpius, or maybe he was just lying to himself. These were questions he knew he would never get the answer to.

Scorpius was startled out his thoughts when the loud bang of a book hitting wood came from the left of him. He looked to see Albus grinning at him, smugly laughing at the fact he could so easily scare him. Scorpius didn’t find it funny and glared at him before turning back to his page. He didn’t go back to the dorm, he just came straight to potions and began reading – again – the chapter for today’s lesson.

“What’s up with you today, mate?” Albus’ tone was friendly, and he clapped Scorpius on the shoulder. He forced away the urge to push Albus away.

“I’m fine,” he mumbled back, not looking at his friend and keeping his eyes firmly on the page. Though he wasn’t reading, he hadn’t been the whole time. His thoughts too often ran away with him these days, it was getting harder to focus on school work.

“Well, you’re clearly not bu-”

“I’m fine, Albus.” He snapped, finally looking up at the other boy who seemed only slightly taken aback by his outburst. He held his hands up in surrender.

“Okay, you’re fine. Polly just thought you ran out of there pretty quickly this morning and-“

“I don’t care what Polly thinks,” he interrupted again, spitting Polly’s name out like it was poison. It was. What possessed Albus to ask her out, Scorpius will never know. She wasn’t a kind person, she was far from it. She still teased Scorpius when Albus wasn’t around, not to the extent that she had before they were dating, but still enough to hurt him. She also knew that Scorpius would never spill that little fact to Albus, because that came with the possibility of losing him as a friend. Albus would probably think he was making it up to break them apart and that would be the end of their friendship.

Having a best friend as an ex-boyfriend who you were still in love with was hard. But losing Albus altogether was harder. So, he bit his tongue and remembered his mantra.

_He doesn’t love you, Scorpius._

_You should be happy for him._

_Just smile and pretend._

_Everything will be okay._

_Just smile, no, bigger than that. Smile your biggest smile ever._

_And pretend._

So, he did. He forced the big, fake smile on his face and looked at Albus, who was looking at him like he’d gone mad. Maybe he had.

“I’m sorry,” he lied. “I just, I’m not feeling too great. I didn’t mean to snap.” Scorpius had gotten better at lying. He felt it was all he did these days.

 _Are you okay?_ **I’m fine.**

_Polly and I are doing really well._ **Good, I’m happy for you.**

_Did you want to come Hogsmeade with us?_ **Can’t, homework.**

_You didn’t show for dinner today._ **Didn’t feel very well.**

 _Did you go to Madame Pomfrey?_ **Yes.**

 _How did you sleep?_ **Great.**

“It’s okay. You haven’t been feeling well a lot lately, maybe you should get it checked out, Scorp?” Albus’ face was etched with worry. He knew what he was thinking, he thought it was his mothers’ curse coming back for Scorpius. Maybe that was possible, but it wasn’t what was wrong. Heartbreak and jealousy was what’s wrong.

“I’m sure it’s just the stress, schoolwork is a lot,” he smiled. Everything was always a lie. Though Albus bought it every time. Sometimes, that hurt Scorpius more than anything. Albus was his friend for many reasons, one of those reasons was that he used to always be able to see through whatever façade Scorpius was putting on. Faking a smile was something he’d always done, being overly happy when the world was falling apart. Albus always picked up on it, always called him out on his bullshit. So, either Albus no longer noticed or no longer cared enough to notice.

“Okay, but I still think you should go see Madame Pomfrey,” he muttered, returning Scorpius’ smile with a small one himself. Scorpius nodded, forcing his smile wider and looked back at the book, hearing the Professor ramble on about the Draught of Living Death – a potion he had read up on plenty of times. Scorpius mostly drowned out the lesson.

 

* * *

 

 

“What is your problem?” Rose Granger-Weasley half-shouted at him, grabbing Scorpius by the arm and stopping him in his tracks. Scorpius’ books fell out of his hands as he jumped from his unexpected visitor. He shrugged Rose off and knelt to pick up the books he had taken out the library. He had told Albus that he’d go alone, not wanting to be around him and had avoided going to dinner knowing full well where Albus’ attention was going to be – on a certain blonde-haired female.

“Scorpius? Don’t ignore me it’s rude.”

“What’s rude is scaring someone and making them drop their things and not apologising for it,” he snapped back. He wasn’t in the mood for Rose.

“Ugh, just answer the question,” he rolled his eyes and began walking in the direction of the Slytherin common room. She probably wouldn’t follow him all the way if he ignored her long enough. “Seriously, Scorpius?”

She did follow him, all the way down to the Slytherin common room. Mostly she shouted his name, or asked him stupid questions like _are you alright?_ Or _aren’t you going to dinner?_ Or _is this about Albus?_ At that, Scorpius finally stopped and turned to her, forcing back an eyeroll. He was so close to his dorm and the comfort of his own bed. He really needed it right now. His mental state would benefit from a good cry and a long sleep. If only Rose allowed it.

“This has nothing to do with Albus,” he lied.

“Finally got your attention though.”

“What do you want?”

“I want to know what’s wrong?”

“Why do you care?”

“You fancy him.”

Scorpius swallowed the lump in his throat. He quickly glanced around to make sure no one was listening in. He fiddled with the corner of a book in his hand and looked down at the floor. Scorpius was a good liar, but apparently all his guards had dropped. It was written all over his face. He cursed himself for letting go so easily. One mention of his stupid feelings for his best friend and it was over for him. Rose knew she was right and rolled her eyes.

“I knew it. So, I have a proposition for you, though you might not like it.” At that Scorpius looked at her, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. She grabbed his arm again and led him down a small isolated corridor. It was rarely ever used unless someone fancied a quick snog. Scorpius had caught Albus and Polly down here two months ago and proceeded to throw up in the dorm bathroom after running before they saw him.

“I don’t fancy Albus,” he tried when Rose stopped pulling him. She rolled her eyes and he knew she saw straight through his lie.

“Cut the crap. Look, you like Albus and that’s fine. So, let’s break up him and Polly?” Scorpius nearly choked.

“Sorry what? Why do you care about how I feel and why he’s with Polly?” It didn’t make any sense to Scorpius. Rose had never cared about him after their awful date and Albus was her cousin, she should be happy for him if he’s happy. Because he was happy, that’s what he’d told Scorpius and what Scorpius told himself.

“I don’t care about how you feel.” Okay, that stung, but fair. “I care about me. And I like Polly.” She stated matter-of-factly. Scorpius nearly choked again.

“You… like… you’re… gay? How long?” He trailed his words and spoke carefully, not wanting to assume anything. Sexuality was anything but simple.

“I don’t know if I’m gay or bi or whatever, but I just know I like Polly. I have done for a few months now.” Well, at least she hadn’t been pining for Polly as long as Scorpius had been for Albus. “What about you?”

“Bi,” he said simply, looking down at his shoes and rocking back and forth on his heels. “So, what’s this proposition?”

“You want in?” She grinned at him, but he couldn’t find it in him to return the gesture. He only shrugged. “Okay, well, I’ll tell you first. I propose we fake date.” Scorpius’ eyes widened at the ridiculous proposition. “It’ll make them jealous and realise who they really want to be with.”

“No, no, no,” he proceeded to say ‘no’ another seven times. “I can’t. It’s not fair and anyway Albus is straight and he doesn’t love me, and I’ve moved on and accepted that now,” he started his ramble, pacing back and forth and rubbing his temples. “Well, I haven’t, but I’m desperately trying to and I’ve been here before and I don’t want to get my heart broken again and how do you even know Polly likes you like that? She might not even like girls, we don’t know that and-“

“Polly is pansexual. I do know that because she told me, I am her best friend.” Rose cut Scorpius off, also causing him to stop his pacing up and down. He pulled his hand away from his forehead to look at her properly. “And it’s obvious Albus is in love with you bec-”

“No.” It was his turn to interrupt her. “Don’t say that, please.” She looked almost shocked at his outburst but didn’t say anything. She was clearly waiting for him to finish. “I’ve spent the past two years trying to convince myself he doesn’t love me, okay? He doesn’t. He’s straight, or whatever, and he doesn’t love me. I’m trying to accept that.”

“Two years.” She sighed. “Wow. What did you mean by moved on?” Scorpius gulped. He sat down on the floor, knees pulled close to his chest and rubbed his temples, willing away the tears that threatened to poor over his cheeks. She dropped down next to him, placing a hand on his knee and rubbing circles on it.

“We dated.” She gasped. Scorpius didn’t think people actually gasped, but she did.

“When?”

“End of fourth year. For two months. He ended it because he didn’t think he was gay and that he was only trying for me.”

“Shit, Scorpius. I’m really sorry, that must have sucked.” He let out a small laugh at her attempt at empathy. She laughed too.

“We can try,” he strained. He didn’t want to fake date her and didn’t for a second believe that it would make Albus jealous and that he would suddenly realise he loved him. Scorpius knew that ship had sailed for him. But Rose might still have a chance at love with Polly, so he was willing to do it for her.

“Are you sure?” He nodded.

“If you want and you believe it will work then yeah, and what’s the worst that could happen? But, we put a limit on it. Say like, if it hasn’t worked after two months then we break-up and move on, deal?”

“Deal.”

“And no kissing.”

“How is anyone meant to believe we’re dating if we don’t kiss?”

“Okay, but nothing excessive. Not like Polly and Albus. Little pecks, no snogging.”

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

They shook hands.

 

* * *

 

 

Scorpius eventually made his way back to the dorm after he and Rose sorted out all the details for their fake relationship. He still couldn’t believe he agreed to such an idea. It was ridiculous. It would never work. But Scorpius knew that if he didn’t try then he’ll never know. Best case scenario was that it did work and he and Albus would be dating again. Worst case scenario was that it didn’t work, and he and Rose would fake a break up in two months and be heartbroken that their two best friends were still in a relationship and try to move on. Scorpius’ heart was used to heartbreak.

The curtain on Albus’ bed was half closed when Scorpius got back to the dorm. He’d completely missed dinner and knew Albus would have questions. Scorpius dropped down onto his bed, letting his bag fall from his shoulder and mentally prepared himself for Albus’ questions.

“Hey, you alright mate? Where have you been? Still not feeling well? Is that why you missed dinner?” The questions came out so fast that Scorpius barely caught any of them. He sat up and looked over to Albus, who was sat cross-legged on his bed, his hair messy from running his hands through it, an open textbook sitting precariously on his lap. He looked adorable. Scorpius hated it.

“I was with Rose.” He weakly smiled, then realised he had to try and make it look like he was happy that he was spending time with Albus’ cousin and smiled a little wider. It had only just hit him that this was yet another lie Scorpius would be telling his friend. At least he was used to lying.

“Rose?” Scorpius hummed in answer. “Why?”

“Well, we’re, erm, kind of, erm,” he stuttered. Albus looked at him as if to say ‘spit it out’. Scorpius wondered if he’d be mad, or angry or jealous. “Dating,” he finally said, trying his best to sound hopeful but fearing he just gave away his lie. He smiled again at Albus, this time bigger and forcing emotion into it. It was Scorpius’ famous big-fat-lie smile, but when Albus broke into a grin too, Scorpius knew it worked. His heart dropped.

“That’s great. Wow, I didn’t realise you still liked her but that’s amazing, Scorp. We can all go on double dates now, how fun would like be?”

“Yeah, sounds great,” he responded just as enthusiastically and hoped that Albus was just a good a liar as he was. One thing for sure was that he definitely didn’t sound jealous. Scorpius cried himself to sleep that night.

 

* * *

 

 

Double dating was not fun. Dating Rose was… fine. But fun was never a word Scorpius would use to describe it. One week in of awkward hello and goodbye kisses – only ever when anyone was watching – and hand-holding and random touches and having to speak like they actually liked each other was fucking exhausting. Scorpius was used to lying, but this was a whole new level. And when Albus had announced that the four of them will be going on a double-date to Hogsmeade that weekend, Scorpius nearly threw up.

That was how he found himself sat there in a booth in The Three Broomsticks with his arm around Rose’s waist who was sitting so close to him she may as well have been sitting on his lap. All the fake dating meant that the two were spending a sickening amount of time together, but also meant that they were slowly growing fond of each other. The first few days it seemed awkward, but now their banter seemed less forced. Having to hold her and kiss her, however, was something that Scorpius nor Rose would ever get used to.

The only good thing about the double dating was that Albus was there. Scorpius would often find himself staring way too long at the boy. The way his hair was always messy – Scorpius tried to ignore Polly’s hand going through it; that should be his hand. The way his eyes would light up when someone said a joke, mostly laughing at Scorpius’ joke - he had always found him funny, something that Scorpius clung on to. The way his smile would go from perfect to slightly lopsided when he drank his butterbeer. Scorpius knew Albus had never been a fan of the famous wizard drink, he preferred pumpkin juice, but Polly had gotten them all the same thing and clearly didn’t know the same thing Scorpius did. That was a small victory in his eyes.

He didn’t like it, however, whenever they kissed. It seemed they couldn’t keep their lips off each other for one moment. This moment, in particular, happened when Scorpius was trying to tell them about a funny thing that happened in Ancient Runes the day before, and while Rose was laughing, Scorpius looked over to find Albus’ lips locked to Polly and nausea rose in his throat. His story died down, his heart dropping. One thing Albus always did was listen to him, even if he rambled or wasn’t interested, he always listened. But not this time.

“Excuse me, for a sec,” he said to the group but only Rose heard, nodding at him sympathetically as he got up. He walked until out of eyesight and then ran into the bathroom, running into a cubicle and locking the door behind him. He turned quickly and threw up, emptying his stomach contents into the toilet.

It was stupid. Stupid to think that this would work. Stupid to go along with it. Stupid to let his heart think he had a chance with Albus again. Stupid.

Stupid.

Stupid.

He was so fucking stupid.

He leaned back against the cubicle door, his head in his hands and trying to calm his breathing. His mind was buzzing at a hundred miles per hour, thoughts whizzing through his brain. It was always like this, but right now it felt worse. His breathing was rapid, and Scorpius couldn’t calm it down. Getting air into his lungs was becoming increasingly harder so he tried to focus. He focused on the light dripping of the tap coming from the other side of the door and repeated the same thing in his head over and over.

_He doesn’t love you, Scorpius._

_You should be happy for him._

_Just smile and pretend._

_Everything will be okay._

_Just smile, no, bigger than that. Smile your biggest smile ever._

_And pretend._

Eventually his breathing slowed. He made his way out the toilet cubicle and forced himself to look in the mirror. He washed his face, clearing away the tear stains and red blotches, and cleaned out his mouth with water from the tap. He looked back in the mirror, repeating his mantra one last time and forcing a smile onto his face. _Pretend, Scorpius. It’s not that fucking difficult._

So, he did. And he went back out to his fake date and forced the friendliness towards everyone there. He pushed away the hurt and upset and anger and buried it deep. Today, he would be happy. Even if it was just pretend. He forced himself to forget about his little breakdown – Albus and Polly hadn’t even noticed he was gone – and sat back down next to Rose.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He lied with the same big grin from the bathroom. He was always lying. That was a norm in his life now. Scorpius had to learn to live with that.

 

* * *

 

 

Rose and Scorpius left The Three Broomsticks significantly earlier than Polly and Albus. They parted ways at the entrance to Hogwarts and went to their respective dorms and Scorpius was relieved to be able to flop down on his bed. It had been a long day. He drifted off into a gentle sleep, rousing later to the slamming of their dorm door and footsteps making their way over to his bed. Scorpius opened his eyes to see Albus standing over him, looking angry. Scorpius jumped off his bed straight away and backed off, feeling the need to put distance between him and Albus. Why was he angry? What had Scorpius done?

“What is wrong with you?” He asked, ire deep in his tone. Scorpius looked at him with disbelief, unsure how to react to the entire situation. “Are you like playing some big game with my cousin or something?” What does that mean? What was he talking about?

“Sorry…?” He asked and if the confusion on his face didn’t give it away then the confusion laced in his tone would.

“You left the table for ten minutes today, you only ever do that when you’re uncomfortable,” he stated simply, as though that would explain everything. Scorpius was still confused.

“What does that have to do with Rose?”

“You were obviously uncomfortable being so close to her. I thought you were gay, anyway?” Scorpius forced down the anger. Albus knew he wasn’t gay, he knew he liked both boys and girls. Scorpius had to force down the urge to call him ignorant but did roll his eyes.

“Bisexual, Albus.” He struggled to say his name with anything but bitterness. “I can like both and have in the past. Which means, yes, I can like Rose. And I wasn’t uncomfortable because of her.” It was true, he was fine with Rose. Maybe in another life, you know, one where Rose was straight and Scorpius wasn’t totally in love with his best friend, they could have worked.

“Well whatever, either way Polly seemed to be pretty piss-“

“Oh, shut up about Polly.” He snapped, raising his voice to a level he wasn’t sure he could reach until now. He rarely shouted, rarely got angry. He didn’t like the feeling of anger, so mostly he buried it in sadness. “I don’t care about Polly. Just shut up, Albus.” His voice settled slightly but was still louder than his usual tone.

“What?” Albus had flinched away at Scorpius’ outburst and stepped further away from him.

“All you do is talk about her, about how great she is. Well, guess what, Albus, some of us still get bullied by her.” He wasn’t sure what he was accomplishing by telling Albus this, but it sure felt good to get it off his chest.

Scorpius was tired. Tired of the lies and the hurt. Tired of hiding his feelings. Tired of never being enough. Tired of Albus not seeing him anymore. Tired of being treated differently by him now that he was his second choice. Tired of being second choice. Tired of the disappointment. Tired of the pain. Tired of breathing through it. Tired of the panic attacks. Tired of the suppressed emotions. Tired of existing in a world where he wasn’t with Albus Potter. Tired. Just tired.

“She doesn’t bully you, we’re not eleven anymore,” he said, like that was a sufficient enough argument. Not all bullies were eleven years old.

“Right, we’re nearly seventeen yet she still hates me.” _Believe me,_ he thought. He stared at Albus thinking that over and over like he could push the thought into his mind.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” He couldn’t.

“How would you know? You’re too busy with your tongue down her throat that you don’t even notice me anymore,” he was getting angrier again.

“Scorp.”

“Honestly, Al, you don’t,” he blurted. “I’m surprised you even noticed I was gone today,” he hung his head, ashamed. His best friend hardly ever noticed him anymore.

“Scorpius.” Albus said again, his voice firmer.

“Just stop. Just stop. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Of course I noticed you were gone,” he persisted, not backing down even though Scorpius desperately wanted him to. He wanted this conversation to be over, but Albus’ words took him by surprise.

“What?”

“You’re my best friend. I know when you’re upset, of course I knew you were gone. I was going to check up on you but Rose told me you were fine.” He noticed him? Albus had actually got his head out of his arse, for once, and noticed something was off? Scorpius had spent so long feeling invisible, even by his best friend, that the thought of someone noticing him seemed strange. Albus was validating him again, maybe he had never stopped?

“Well I’m not!” He could no longer lie. Scorpius had decided he was done with lying. It was too exhausting.

“What’s wrong?” Maybe Albus was still blind. Scorpius weren’t that good of a liar.

“Don’t act like you’re completely oblivious, Albus!” He shouted, arms rising then slapping against his legs in anger. The sound made Scorpius and Albus cringe a little.

“Scorp-” he began. Scorpius didn’t want to hear what he had to say. He had to be honest, he had to tell Albus otherwise he might implode. It was now or never, so Scorpius decided now.

“I’m still in love with you for Merlin’s sake, Al. I’m still horribly, uselessly, utterly and horrendously in love with you.” His stomach tied itself in knots as he watched Albus’ reaction. He opened and closed his mouth a few times in shock. After a while of complete silence, Scorpius looked down. Ashamed. He knew that Albus wouldn’t say it back, that would be ridiculous, but a small part of him had hoped. His hopes came crashing down like a rollercoaster in a muggle theme park. He felt sick again.

“But Rose?” Albus finally spoke, his voice ripping through the silence. Scorpius finally looked to him again but couldn’t make out how he was feeling. Albus’ face was completely neutral, not angry, or sad, or whatever. Nothing. Like he had put up a giant wall to keep Scorpius out. It was over. Their friendship was done and Scorpius felt his lungs closing at just the mere thought.

“It’s fake.” He managed to choke out. Albus was staring at him intently, his expression never wavered. “We’re not dating.” When Albus’ expression remained the same, Scorpius wanted nothing more than to be left alone. He hated the way Albus was looking at him. He wanted to crawl into bed and never come out. Now that he had admitted this to Albus, it meant that his and Rose’s fake relationship had to come to an end. He felt like he had let down Rose. “Can you just, leave me alone? Go snog your girlfriend or someth-“

Scorpius never managed to get out the rest of his word because Albus’ lips came crashing into his. The sudden force made Scorpius nearly lose his balance and had to back himself into the wall behind them. At first, he was so stunned that he barely managed to reciprocate exactly what happening, and Albus pulled back before Scorpius had the chance to kiss him back.

“I’m sorry, sorry, sorry,” Scorpius lost count of how many more times Albus said ‘sorry’ after that. His eyes were locked on Albus’ cowering form, backing further and further away from him. He had kissed him. Albus Potter had kissed him. Scorpius had been waiting for this for two years, so why on Earth did he not kiss him back?

“Albus,” he spoke firmly, causing Albus to stop backing away and looking at him. Scorpius tried to hide the look of shock on his face but that was harder than it looked. Albus looked adorable standing there all sheepishly. Scorpius had to act.

So, he did.

He crossed the short distance of the room with sheer confidence, something he weren’t sure where he managed to muster up. Finally face-to-face with Albus, he didn’t stop for a second, grabbing him by the waist and pulling him in, closing the distance between their lips. This time, Albus was left stunned. But not for long. Albus kissed him back.

It was messy and awkward, like two people who had been apart for so long and were trying to discover each other all over again. And that’s what they were. The two boys had drifted, had become distant from each other whether they meant to or not. Coming back together, they seemed to fit like a puzzle piece, one that had to be turned a few times before fitting perfectly. And they fit perfectly. Like they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder.

 

* * *

 

 

_ Two weeks later _

Scorpius and Albus were sat at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall, nursing tea and toast and holding hands under the table. Opposite them sat Polly and Rose, giant smiles on their faces every time they looked at each other. Scorpius watched them fondly, happy that something had finally worked in both his and Rose’s favour.

The day that Albus kissed Scorpius happened to be the same day that Polly kissed Rose. They had both been planning to break it off the day after, which meant that there was no awkwardness in the ending of their relationship, just mutual respect. The four had spent significantly more time with each other since and there was even a double date happening in the near future. This time it wouldn’t make Scorpius sick.

Albus leaned over and pecked Scorpius on the cheek, pulling him out his thoughts and his face breaking into a wider grin than before.

“Sickle for your thoughts?” He whispered. Scorpius turned to face him and saw a small fond smile playing on his lips. He felt Rose’s eyes on him.

“I’m just happy,” he whispered back, pecking Albus’ nose. Albus scrunched his face up, pulling the most adorable look Scorpius had ever seen. He hoped he would never get used to how incredibly amazing his boyfriend was, he wanted to always be surprised.

“You guys are vomit-inducing,” he heard Polly say opposite him and both Scorpius and Albus turned to face her, faking shocked faces. She had a huge grin on her face, like their reaction was some sort of victory.

“I’ll have you know that me and Albus are adorable, and it is, in fact, you and Rose who are the vomit-inducing ones,” Scorpius spoke, dragging every ounce of sarcasm into his voice. Polly faked a gasp, putting her arm around Rose and pulling her close.

“How dare you speak of me and my girlfriend like that,” satire was thick in her voice. Scorpius couldn’t hold down the laughter anymore and neither could anyone else. The four of them all burst out laughing, sounding like strangled cats gasping for air.

Scorpius was happy. For the first time in two years he was genuinely happy. He no longer had to lie to his best friend every day. He no longer had to force a grin every time he was with Polly. Albus had promised Scorpius that he was his, wholly and honestly. Scorpius got to watch Polly and Rose as they fell in love with each other. Everything seemed right. Everyone seemed happy. Life was fitting into place.

Scorpius could be honest and free. He would never have to lie to Albus again and that lifted a giant weight off his heart. He no longer had to pretend.

_He loves you, Scorpius._

_Wholly and honestly._

_He loves you._

_There's no need to pretend, anymore._

It was fair to say Scorpius preferred his new mantra.


End file.
